This was a tough year for me. It started off well and progressed well but ended horribly with the death of my mom. It has not been easy going forward, and probably won't be easy ever again. Nonetheless, there were some things that I loved about 2018. Inspired by ForeverPresident Obama, here's my list.
Favorite Things 2018
1. Podcasts -
a. Lore (created/hosted by Aaron Manke). If you're not listening, you are missing out. Aaron Manke, in only the way he can, brings to life the creepiness of real world mysteries, lores and legends. Listening to this, I find myself questioning if any of it was really true. The answer? YES! Well researched, Manke is a storyteller at heart, and has done a good job creeping out his listeners.
-b. -.Stuff to Blow Your Mind/Stuff You Should Know
Another podcast that has done a good job educating me about just about everything, and has made me want to look up everything they mention. You won't regret it.
2. Tdotspec --the upstart publishing company has made me a published author (Strange Economics). Please check it out, if you haven't already.
3. Winners -- I'm addicted and really should cut down on my shopping addictions. In the mean time, I am always looking for the next great find.
4. Matcha -- I am late to the matcha latte/everything party, but am glad I arrived anyway. By the way, try the matcha green tea chocolate bar (Kitkat/nestle). You won't regret it.
5. Essential Oils --this was the year I was to discover my inner natural goddess. Lavender became my go-to color/choice of oil, but I'm loving peppermint, tea tree and milk thistle.
6. Oversized sweaters/shirt-dresses. Ironic that now that I have hit my weight goal, I am more determined than ever to cover up. Oversized sweaters/shirt-dresses are cozy and comfortable. A girl never can have too many oversized sweaters. They're practical for winter, and even summer when the air conditioning is simply too high.
7. Musical Artists:
a. Jessie Reyez. My new Amy Winehouse. What a voice, and what an attitude. According to the 'loco Colombiana', her "straight jacket's custom-made.'
b. Janelle Monae's "Dirty Computer.' The archandroid is everything I wish I could be --cool and nerdy, and this album is catchy and sing-a-long. PERFECT. Blerds represent.
c. Buju Banton --the Jamaican Reggae artist was released from prison in early December 2018. I rediscovered his 'Til Shiloh' album. It's a classic. I've been obsessively listening to it for months.
8. Marvel Studios. Thanks for giving me lighthearted entertainment to get me through tough times. I loved the Black Panther. I was mad, sad and happy about Infinity Wars, and look forward to Endgame.
9. My Fitness Pal -- this is a little tricky. It's a "health/diet" app. But, I am in agreement that anything that helps me track what I am eating/putting in my body is good. And it's free!
10. Google Home --I am of the desire that someday, and I hope I live to experience it, we'll all have robots and AIs in the home called genie/avatars that do our bidding. Google Home (and other assistants) is the first step. Not great. I'm still waiting for it to read me my horoscope and give me life advice. In the meantime, I take comfort in asking it odd questions.
The last month has been hell for me, the worst, heart-crushing experience of my life. I lost my mother, and there's no magic in the world that can bring her back, no spell to cast to undo the ravages of time and death, the destroyers of worlds. It's hard to move on, not while I'd prefer to crawl away from the world and sleep it off. I have little energy to write, and am confused and resentful that the world keeps moving without my mother.
I am haunted by her memories, woken deep into the night by her calling my name, and stuck in the psychological torment of "what if". I hid my writing from her. She knew I wrote, but never truly read any of my work, and I regret wholeheartedly all the missed opportunities, hugs, and communications, and there's now no way to re-do these never-moments. All of my tomorrows are not worthy enough to regain the 40 yesterdays and counting since she was here.
I'll have to find a way, even if the things I love are bitter and useless to my existence in the current time. It's what my mother would've wanted. Always and forever!
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings."